We live in a society in which we celebrate the chronically sleep deprived, overworked, and stressed. We thrive on staring at our phones for hours on end comparing our lives to our friends, co-workers and strangers. There’s always something to see, read, or listen to. So, it’s no surprise that most Americans experience some level of anxiety or depression, especially now that social media use is on the rise. But how do you know when your stress, anxiety or depression is more than “normal?” 

Most people experience anxiety and depression at some point in their lives, and that’s perfectly normal. Many of us may become nervous at exams, doctor appointments, major life events such as graduations, weddings, or speaking events. In fact, people are more afraid of public speaking than death! We all become sad as well; jobs ending, people passing away, relationships failing. We usually use a variety of strategies and support from friends and family to help us cope. Shortly after, we find ourselves back into our day-to-day habits, mood and routine. Every now and then though we struggle to feel like ourselves and others may notice changes as well and struggle with how to be supportive. 

So, you may be wondering when should I try therapy? Honestly, the answer is different for everyone. However, there are a few factors to consider that may help you determine if you would benefit from therapy. 

• Impact on functioning: While most of us have experienced some anxiety or sadness, we’ve also found we can carry on with our lives. There are times though that our ability to function within our normal lives is impaired or limited. Our thoughts may be consumed with the topic of anxiety, the jittery nerves and butterflies in the stomach become cramps and a pounding headache develops when someone so much as mentions the source of stress or anxiety. If a person finds they are going out of their way to avoid a source of anxiety or stress to the detriment of their life, it may be worth exploring a bit more deeply with a therapist. 

• Severity: Symptoms of anxiety, depression, or any other mental health concern are on a spectrum ranging from mild to severe. Depending on the severity of the symptoms, some may find they are inconvenienced although able to carry on with their lives. Others may find that their symptoms are so severe it requires life to halt until addressed. For example, someone may be depressed and lay in bed for 10-15 minutes after the alarm goes off before they get up to get ready for their day. Others may find the idea of getting out of bed so exhausting they can only go back to sleep to relieve the fatigue. Sometimes the severity changes based on the trigger or circumstance. Someone may find most of the time their anxiety is manageable except when they are invited to a social function with colleagues and then their symptoms become really severe and they avoid the opportunity at all costs. 

• Can you cope? If you’ve ever read a self- help book, listened to a podcast, or even read a blog or article on mental health; chances are you’ve heard the term “coping skills.” What exactly are coping skills? These are tools or strategies individuals use to minimize discomfort in particular situations and “get us through.” Some coping skills are more beneficial than others. Problems can arise when the skills you have, and use are no longer as effective at easing the symptoms or no longer work at all. When this happens, sometimes we need to learn new strategies to address our symptoms. 

• Do I need more support? For some, therapy is helpful because it’s an opportunity to talk problems through with someone who is objective and has a different perspective to offer. In general, our friends and family try to support us, offer us suggestions that have worked well for them, or think could be helpful. Ultimately, they are invested in your wellbeing and the outcome. A therapist is more objective and less invested in the outcome of a particular circumstance, which allows them to challenge you and offer alternative resources or strategies that may not have been considered. There’s a lot to be said about having someone reflect your thoughts, concerns, and opinions back to you and hearing it out loud. 

While this is not an exhaustive list of factors to consider, it’s a starting point. Most people who seek out therapy are looking for some additional support to work through a difficult or confusing time in their lives. Most people can benefit from therapy, even for a short period of time.

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